This article was posted on my blog sister’s site as I was asked to be her first guest writer. I also wanted to share it on my site for those that want to read it again; for me to read again; just for the hell of it.
So I was asked by our dear friend to be her first guest writer and freaked out, literally…just ask her. I love to write but I’ve never publicly posted anything unless it’s been an occasional social media post for something memorable to me. This is huge…I immediately began racking my brain on topics as I normally have 7,983 thoughts a day that I feel cannot escape when they should {most writers can relate}. The one word that kept popping up was self…self.. So here goes nothing…[keep the tomatoes at bay.]
Self Love
As women, I believe we give all ourselves to others first. If we are single, we give it all to our friends and family. If we are in relationships, we give it all to our partners. If we are mothers, we give it all to our children and pets. If we are employees, we give it all to our careers. If we are homeowners, we give it all to our homes. Some of us fall in multiple categories. But where do you fall? Last. In the fairy tales we grew up with, the princess was always first. She had an entourage of helpers that took care of each of these areas for her, she just had to be the princess. Somewhere along the road to reality, this was lost, and we became last. I know this isn’t true for every female but for me, and most middle class, single, working moms, this is true.
Speaking from my personal experience, this must change. At almost 35 years old, I have failed myself. From the outside looking in I have (or had) it all. I come from a great background, All American family, marriage (or two), smart kid, house, college degree, successful career – but I didn’t have myself.
Looking in the mirror or in photos, I didn’t see what others would see. I didn’t see courage. I didn’t see poise. I didn’t see happiness. I didn’t see success. I saw someone who gave everything she had to everyone else. I saw an empty cup at the end of the day.
This realization was a hard pill to swallow for someone who has been so tough on the exterior and almost numb internally. Once this light bulb came on, my soul caught fire and my world has slowly changed. I know now, that any relationships I have in the future will be totally different from my past because I LOVE ME! The relationships with my friends have changed, rekindled and new ones have formed. The relationship with my son has always been strong but now that he is a transforming into a tween, I am able to be patient with him and love him through his struggles. All because I love me before I love anyone else.
After two failed marriages, maybe this is what it took for me to realize this God only knows – but we as women must LOVE ourselves before give an ounce of love to anyone else. Find what makes you…you! Whether that is church on Sunday, yoga on Tuesday, wine on Wednesday or tears in the shower after a rough week. Take time out to read a book or look at a magazine full of decorative ideas for a dream home you may never own. Sit in a bathtub full of bubbles. Eat at a restaurant, ALONE! Drive down a country road with your windows down, singing at the top of your lungs. Treat yourself to a day at the spa.
Whatever it is, do you.
Love yourself!
Jen
Jibberish with Jen 