Hey y’all! I hope everyone has found their groove as we all are back in the school swing, starting fall sports and mourning the end of Summer. I took the last week or so off from the Blog as we adjusted to Middle School, Lane turned 11 and well…LIFE! But, we are doing better than expected. Lane LOVES the transition, loves his classes and his anxiety is surprisingly low. Praise Jesus! So I’ve had several {hundred} ideas for this week and what better idea…FRIENDS. 

Enjoy…

Growing up in a household of two parents who are extremely extroverted, I just knew, we would always be surrounded by a ton of people. Those of you that know them, know this to be true. In fact, I talk to many of you through social media, or at the grocery store, or through your children/grandchildren. 

My mom, Sandy, Mama Sandy, Grammy, or whatever anyone else called her…was known by TONS of people. She was involved in so many groups from church to volunteer organizations to work stuff. She was a crafter, cake baker, singer and artist of many other forms. With each of these avenues she had friends. Her friends were always around. The days before cell phones, she was always on the house phone with someone, laughing, talking, planning, creating…surrounded by friends. 

My dad, Randy, Papa Randy, Pappy, Coach, or whatever anyone else called him…is known by TONS of people. He has always worked multiple jobs and been involved in community events that he helped others. He’s a helper, giver, teacher, coach, leader and friend. He like my mom, has friends in each avenue that surrounds him. 

I recall as a child, everywhere we went my parents knowing someone, even in another state or another country. To this day, I hear the words, ‘you’re Randy/Sandy’s daughter.’ This is such an honor to hear every single time. To know the legacy they’ve built is amazing. (But, the anxiety that I’ve put in my own head of filling their shoes is quite the opposite at times.) Our roots run deep as dad and I are both born and raised here, mom was a transplant but got here as quick as she could. 

The older I got, I began to wonder how in the hell would I be able to keep this type of lifestyle up, how would I be able to have that many friends. The truth…I can’t. I won’t. I don’t.  Why? Because I am not them. I am different. I am an introvert forced to be an extrovert during certain circumstances, mostly involving work activities now that I am adult. During my youth, it was dance activities and performances.  

I’ve learned through the years that I don’t have or feel the need for that many people around me. It causes me undue angst and stress. My mom and dad were amazing at hosting extravagant parties, gatherings, organizing events, etc. Not me. I do great to make it through a work event, birthday party or Christmas party. The aftermath is absolutely draining. My parents were great at keeping up with multiple people, their kids, their parents, and every event known to mankind. Not Jen. I am a homebody and I am ok with that. Those close to me know this. Jen is good with hanging out at home, yours or mine,  with a glass of wine and our pajamas. (This is my ideal holiday attire for every holiday too…thank goodness the man in my life is easy going.) Easy peasy. 

I have a small circle that I consider my Framily. They are a tight group of friends that are close enough to be that they’ve become my family. They have been there for me at my absolute worst…divorce, death, weight struggles, picked me up when I needed to move literally that day, changing of jobs, loss of babies and the birth of Lane. These are the people, I consider my true friends. I have many acquaintances, which I still call friends just on a different level. 

 

In saying all of that, I have also learned a lot about people and have had some fake friends. Through my life, I have been part of wives groups, church groups, social media groups, friends with people whom I thought truly supported me…but in the end, they were no where to be found. I’ve been standing alone in a hospital when I thought my wives group would be there to support me and not a single one of them was there any of the times they vowed to be there.  I’ve been in a social media weight loss group and not one skinny chick checked on the one struggling her hardest to get motivated to start her journey. I’ve been part of a church group but judged because I didn’t attend church on a regular basis. I’ve been friends with the husband/wife of someone because my spouse was friends with their husband/wife only to keep the peace when in turn, they were shaming me because of who I was and that I would never be good enough. Folks, those people are fake, and I do not have time for them in my life. If you are one of them, reconsider what you call a friend.  

I keep my circle small for a number of reasons. I am simple. I do not do drama. I work hard for what I have. We are rebuilding our lives after a year of hell.  Lane is my number one priority. I love being a mom and a life partner. People that do not support that, I just simply can’t have in my life…and they aren’t “friends.” The older I get, the smaller my circle becomes. I love sharing my story, which is one reason for this blog, as I hope it helps others. 

I am thankful for my circle of friends, true friends, the ones that have been there for the hell, the joy, the laughter, the tears, the great times and the times when I wanted to throw in the towel. 

Be yourself, those who truly love you will accept you for WHO you are. 

~Jen~